Wichita Linebacker 3×03

The original title, Friday Night Sleights, was much better. Also, I wish they kept See You Next Tuesday instead of using Look Who’s Stalking, because it was funny in three different ways.

Veronica tries to find out who stole the playbook from Kurt, a football player, lest he lose his scholarship. Turns out his girlfriend did it (which I suspected all along, but I liked how it was written, so I didn’t want to kill anyone, unlike with Versatile Toppings), because she wanted him off the team that treated him poorly despite his giving his all and a torn ligament. However, her ex stole it from her, and his roommate gave the plays to their rival, Sonoma State, in order to bet the farm against Hearst and win. Kurt admits to losing the playbook, and he is sent back home to Kansas… duh.

Meanwhile, instead of a class divide, this year there is a gender division. Hearst Free Press (not as cool sounding as the Neptune Navigator, btw) featured as their covered story a controversial protest by the Lilith House, where a group of women posed topless with a banner: “We Go to Hearst / Go Ahead Rape Us.” The Hearst Lampoon replied with their cover: topless men with a banner saying, “No Thanks / Except Maybe the Blonde in the Middle.” Nish, the school paper editor (is she a student — she’s like 30), along with Fern, who has been in the past two episodes already (as the girl who kicks Dick in the balls and the Safe-Ride-Home cart driver), and Claire, speak up against the photo because they’re referring to Claire. We also find out they are militant feminists. Later, as they debate on Piz’s new radio show (yeah… whatever), Fern receives a text — “Claire was raped” — and yells at the Lampoon editors, who look uncomfortable. Hm, so many possibilities:

(1) Claire was actually raped.
(2) The militant feminists staged it so someone would text them during the radio show, hopefully to provoke outrage from the audience.
(3) a) The rapist is getting ideas from the Lampoon.
     b) To throw the scent off of him/her.
(4) It’s a coincidence they singled out a future rape victim.
(5) The Lampooners are psychic.

Veronica is listening all the while.

Weevil punched his boss at the car wash, so Veronica tries to find him a job with her dad — he needs to work or it’s back to jail. He’s doing good detective work with the photography and staking out, but he punches some more and Keith loses a client. So Veronica finds him a job at Hearst as a janitor. Oh, joy. Now that everyone’s here, Mac’s and Veronica’s prophesy have come true: It’s (exactly) like we never left Neptune High. Girls, you didn’t even leave the county line, what did you expect?

Ed Begley, Jr. as Dean Cyrus O’Dell — taste my happy. He wants Veronica to give up her sources for her marijuana newspaper article, or she’ll be expelled. Instead, she figures out his car wasn’t trashed by feminists, but his son took it out for fun (he left his CD inside the player), crashed it, then covered it up as a vandalization (with “Pig” spraypainted as the cherry on top). She has Weevil fix the Dean’s car for free in exchange for not expelling her, and to hire Weevil (as janitor). Later, when Weevil fixes the broken AC, Ed Begley, Jr.’s toupee flies off into an electric car. Also, why did Weevil stare lovingly at Dean O’Dell after he fixed his air conditioning?

Veronica is so jealous! Again! She’s suspicious when Logan doesn’t come to visit her at the library when he said he might or when Dick (Dick? Seriously, Veronica??) tells her their class ended early and she didn’t get a call from him. Yeah… because he has no life. He’s not cheating on her, as she thinks, just illegally gambling on campus. And how did she find him if he didn’t tell her? She turned on the GPS tracking device in his phone. Crazy. He tells her he’ll be going to Mexico next week and he’ll be sure to give her the exact coordinates. In turn, she bugs his car, but later, as she’s talking to the footballer’s girlfriend, who calls stealing the playbook a momentarily crazy thing she did, but only because she cared about him, V has a change of heart and retrieves her bug. In the end, Logan comes by to the library, not to Mexico as he shot off before. They talk about their relationship: Veronica is naturally untrusting, but she’s trying to be unnatural; Logan’s a bad boy, but trying to be more reformed by taking her out to a film festival and visiting her in the library. She closes the Information Desk and they go to the top floor to make out. Or worse. Also, lololololololololololol. (A certain LJ community was very prescient. Not that I read them. Just a few times. Not any of the library ones. Except once.)

Their confrontation felt like a mini-culmination of the past two years — they both have their issues, and it should be natural any wedge between them was caused because of them, not because of outside forces. If they weren’t trying to lure in viewers (by not mentioning the past so much), I wonder when Veronica spoke of the betrayals and backstabbings in her formative years, she would’ve mentioned Logan himself; that would’ve been awesome. Because, really, it would be so hard for me to trust a guy who turned his back on you and taunted you constantly, but that makes their dynamic that much more interesting.

Since the season 2 opener, Veronica’s mostly a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, it’s only noir in fragments here and there, and WHERE ARE THE BLUE-HUED FLASHBACKS?? They had to change that, too?! The differences about the types of flashbacks was one of my favorite parts of the show!! But it’s just another thing I’ve come to expect — it’s no longer the show I once knew from S1. Different fonts, slightly different theme music, different opening credits, different-hued flashbacks… it’s like they are cutting ties with itself. Okay, really, I am just peeved about the flashbacks. MY FLASHBACKS!! And the font. MY FONT!!


Small notes: If Weevil could borrow his uncle’s tools to fix the Dean’s car, why can’t he just get a job there?? He’s been working there the past two years (that we’ve seen); is his chop shop illegal? And now Parker + Mac = BFFs? (We get a fleeting mention of them going to the StairMaster.)

I was on the subway, and I saw a Piz lookalike, and I figured it out: not only does Piz remind me of a poor Duncan, and a white Wallace, but a damned hipster. It’s the perfect storm of my hate. Piz is goofy, safe and all vanilla… which makes me all sick inside. Sorry, I like my characters with a little gray — Wallace is nice most of the time, but after the whole Chicago car accident, I saw him in a different light… I actually thought he was interesting. But now he’s regressed and it’s all very whatever. Duncan, who was so interesting in S1, turned into a mindless tree in S2. Yet, I like them all better than Weevil. I dunno, I’m just not very impressed by Weevil, not since the Pilot, at least. If Piz and Veronica ever get together — which is what they seem to be setting up — it will be the most boring relationship ever. What, more than Duncan? Well, at least you knew the backstory behind them, even though they conveniently forgot about it. V has all the sass, but what is Piz? Sort of the “ignorance is bliss” guy in all the corruption, which she will seem charmed by? As Destiny’s Child (R.I.P.) once sang, “I don’t think you can handle this.” Maybe Piz will be interesting after he realizes Veronica is too manly for him. And then he’ll change his fucking stupid name.

(I am a LxV fan, but not rabid. Here’s who I’d rather her go out with, if Logan were out of the picture: Chip Diller, Kurt, Casey Gant, Casey Kasem, &c. I JUST DON’T LIKE PIZ.)


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