My Big Fat Greek Rush Week 3×02

With Dan Castellaneta (as Dr. Kinny)!

Veronica and Mac are still there as Parker is being questioned after her rape. Lamb comes in acting like a douche (of course). Parker claims she can’t remember much of last night, even how she got back to her dorm. V chimes in and says the rape happened around 23:45. She also heard a buzzing noise that stopped after she entered. (So is this rapist raping while shaving? Because I heard groaning when Veronica went inside.) She thought it was “just sex” and the buzzing was a vibrator. Only, I don’t think Standards let her say that word, so she comes off like a prude, which I never really took her for. (RT was willing to have her say “cock bong” in the pilot, but not “vibrator” 45 episodes later?) Parker blames Veronica for what happened, because, as Parker puts it, she thought she was a “slut of the world.” (Hey, it’s not her fault you planned to fornicate with Dick.) Yes, let’s pin the blame on Veronica… because that’s the only way to get her to solve a case. Because she wasn’t already feeling guilty before Parker yelled at her.

Keith is not frozen! He’s traipsing in the desert using some kind of Jesus stick, which gets caught in an animal trap. I wonder what the guy who put it there was trying to catch. Desert hare? Keith has a plan: use it to destroy Cormac’s leg. It works, when Cormac spots Keith’s footprints, and then a pen sticking in the ground. This is why I look down when I walk in the city: no poop on my soles and no traps around my ankle. Liam finds Cormac, however. You know what, I liked the Fitzpatricks last season, but this is a tad confusing. Liam looked after Kendall until Cormac was released from jail, for a cut of the money. Liam wanted a lot more money, Cormac killed Kendall, but found no money, and Liam kills Cormac. Keith finally finds the local sheriff’s department in Kretchmer (hah!) County, Arizona and reports a murder. I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

Wallace and Logan share the same Sociology class, so they undertake Dan Castellaneta’s prison experiment to get out of writing a 20-page paper. Logan is a prisoner, who surprisingly doesn’t say much this ep, and Wallace is a guard, who actually doesn’t say too much either. Rider Strong is the real talker in this storyline, who is also an asshole. Wow, this episode has a star-studded guest cast! Samm Levine (Freaks and Geeks) is also here (as the pathetically named Horshack), who is made fun of for being short, not being able to pee at the urinal, then peeing in his pants, and for being Jewish, thanks to Rider Strong. Anyway, in order for the guards to skip the paper, they have to extract information about the location of a bomb within 48 hours; for the prisoners to win, they have to keep their mouths shut for 2 days.

Veronica tries to find a job as a photographer in the school newspaper instead of working at the library. Her pictures are good, but she also looks the part to infiltrate a sorority during rush week. Zeta Theta Beta have been rumored to force their pledges to get drunk and strip for the boys of their brother fraternity in a secret room. The editor also mentions that the girl who was recently raped, Parker something, was at one of their rush parties before the crime. Veronica is intrigued, so she agrees. At the party, she meets Chip, from Pi Sigma, the Theta Beta’s brother fraternity. He tells the sisters she accused him of rape last year. Douche chill! V dances kinda like Elaine Benes, but no one is taking advantage of a girl pretending to drunk as hell. She spots a camera and grabs a chair and pretends to mug for the lens. One of the girls, Marjorie, offers to take her someplace… down a dark stairway. To the driveway. She tells her she likes Veronica too much to ruin her chances with the Theta Betas and has Chip wait with her until a Safe-Ride-Home cart driver picks her up. She finds out Parker was also driven back to her dorm, and who drove her? Moe, Wallace’s RA. Oh no! Moe is quickly cleared, though. Wow, that was fast. I guess that’s what we get for a mystery that will be solved in seven more episodes.

Keith brings the deputies to the house, which looks as if it had been ransacked; they think it was a robbery. One of the deputies is suspicious that Keith’s in this desolate location. I hope to high hell this comes back in some way, because even if we know Keith had nothing to do with the murder (erm, except bringing Kendall to Cormac on a silver platter), we never really get a scene where he explains or where the deputies go, “Oh, okay! You are right as rain.” I don’t see Kendall’s corpse, but the dudes see some blood spatter on a picture frame; Keith sees the painting in the frame.

The school paper editor doesn’t take too kindly to Veronica’s claims that there’s nothing sinister and that some of the girls seem nice. There were four (four! [four!]) reliable sources. Wow, this woman sounds like a complete raging bitch. Reminds me of Michael, who also only had one thing on his mind: “WALT!!! WHERE’S MY BOOOIII?!” So Veronica returns to apologize to the den mother, Karen (Wishbone‘s mom!), for acting so drunk last night. As V snoops around for the keys to the secret room, she finds the feed for the camera she was dancing for last night in Karen’s room. Supervision totally rawks, people. She unlocks the secret room and encounters row after row of marijuana plants. Did anyone else giggle a bit?

No one’s getting drunk and stripping, but pot is good enough for the editor. She’s elated and congratulates Veronica. Later, though, Marjorie approaches V and explains that the botany professor gave some seeds to Karen, for medicinal purposes, because she has cancer (there was another camera in the pot room). She tries to recant the article, but the editor says there’s nothing she can do about it, since it’s being published. V quickly tells Karen the truth and to get rid of the plants. Marjorie ironically informs Veronica that she got voted into the Theta Betas. Everytime a door closes on her face, more enemies are born.

Parker’s mom comes by to help her try on wigs, and discuss her immaturity and her decision making, or lack thereof. She’s planning on going home, but Mac tells her to stay because she feels things will be ruined if she doesn’t, and that she’ll have her back from now on. They hug. I have to say, that wig her mother picked out is simply atrocious.

Keith is sad because he made a huge mistake. Later, he brings the painting, Van Gogh’s Two Lovers, to an auctioneer. He wants all proceeds to go to the South Neptune Food Bank. We are treated to a scene aired in the S2 finale as Kendall pops open her suitcase to reveal… the painting. Keith’s knowing “oh” makes me think he’s an art aficionado… but he wanted to go to Yankee Stadium, not the Met! So let me get this straight… Kendall spent most of her money buying the painting. Cormac killed her to get the money. Kendall died for a painting? I guess that’s a good way to carry around money without actually holding cash. Hey, what about her family, Keith? Her maw just died recently and you don’t think they’d be good recipients for it?

Horshack is tired and gives up the bomb’s location. However, as Dan Castellaneta notes, it’s false. Logan and the other prisoners break out (heh) a while later. They are eating at a food court when Veronica stops by. You know, this is the second time in as many episodes where she doesn’t acknowledge she already has a bf (at the party, one of the sorority sisters says, “hope you don’t have a boyfriend, there are so many cuties here.”). It’s sort of obvious they will break up again, but do you have to foreshadow so heavily?? Gargh. V can’t hang out because while he’s breaking out, she has to break in and mentions that they are star-crossed. Why must you play me, show? (V breaks into the secret room.) Rider Strong catches them and yells at them, and at the guards (Wallace and a chick) for being so lackadaisical. When the 48 hours are up, the prisoners cheer. The chick asks where the location is, now that the experiment is over. Logan smartly yells out, “No!” but Omar is a total loser, so he gives up the address. Dan Castellaneta walks in and announces the guards have won, because when they broke out, Wallace and the chick set the clock forward. Logan loses the side bet with Wallace and has to streak. It was funny. Some guy behind Wallace is smiling way too hard at Logan’s package. It was weird.

The VMVO exposits that Chip Diller seems to be around when the rapes happen, the Safe-Ride cart’s safety is questionable, and someone had to have gotten a hold of Parker’s room key when she was being rushed at the Theta Zetas. (They do it to leave invitations to their alcohol-infused parties.)

At the library where Veronica now works, she finds the latest edition of the school paper. She notes that the cover story is credited to her, and that the subhead accuses the botany professor of providing the seeds. Even botanists hate Veronica now. I hate the editor, because not only does she have a one-track mind, she lied. Veronica blurted out the botany prof had a hand, and the editor just gobbled it up and lied! I hope she gets raped. No… that’s too nice.

Oh yeah, and Dick was dressed up like a Chippendale at the sorority party, because Pi Sigs bartend their sister sorority’s party. (Dick’s a Pi Sig?!) It was kind of disturbing.

It was amusing, that Wallace and Logan know each other well enough now that Wallace figured they’d try to escape. Also, who are these four (four [four!]) witnesses, and why have they all provided similar, yet false, information? That was the strangest and most suspicious thing to me than anything else in the episode. Was it bullshit the editor was feeding Veronica? That makes me even more enraged at her than rage-ohol.

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