First Down 2.04

Michael, Lincoln, and Nika have company! Bellick and Geary have caught up with them and run them off the road. As they exit the trashed car, Bellick appears from behind, aiming a firearm at them. Rather than taking them in for their bounty, he reveals he wants to go to Utah with them to get the millions. Sounds like a basis for a sitcom. When he brings them to his car, Lincoln surreptitiously sticks a shard of glass underneath their tire to ensure a flat.

Mahone doesn’t really believe Michael and Lincoln have died and wants further tests. The divers have come up with newspaper clippings, including one on Abruzzi. Yeah, okay. Speaking of Abruzzi, he’s already dressed up snazzy in Brooklyn and greets his family, a wife and two children. They’re ready to take a boat ride to Sardinia when someone tells Abruzzi that Fibonacci is in D.C. getting ready to testify. He holds off the boat trip so he can go down Washington to kill Fibonacci himself. His wife slaps him for putting his desires in front of his family. She’s pissed that he’s willing to risk going back to prison. Abruzzi replies that he’d rather die.

Tweener is singing badly as Debra Jean drives. When they pass police cars, Tweener gets all paranoid and orders her to slow down; he later explains that he doesn’t want to risk a ticket. DJ looks uneasy and calls someone when they stop for a bathroom break. When he returns, she wants to stop at the closest motel, despite it being only late afternoon, Tweener argues. He reluctantly agrees.

In Friend, NB, T-Bag has stopped at a gas station restroom, distressed there’s no feeling in his hand. He pokes at the fingers until blood flows. A damn hippie walks in on him and T-Bag yells at him. When he leaves, he sees police officers inspecting his stolen vehicle; they then ask him for ID. He says his name’s Clyde May, and that doesn’t have a driver’s license anymore, considering his hand, which he hurt in Iraq. Then he claims he saw who drove up in the stolen vehicle: the dirty hippie blowing a dookie in the restroom. They find the car keys on him and promptly arrest him. Damn hippie.

Bellick commands Geary to go to town to pick up a spare tire. In the meantime, they have tied up Michael and Lincoln. Nika asks Bellick for a favor: she wants to ruin Michael’s life like he did hers (putting her life in danger, giving her a measly $10,000 when there’s five million waiting to be found). She wants $200,000 for any help she can offer, since Michael trusts her. Bellick accepts.

When Nika is tied up with Michael and Lincoln, she tells them it’ll be easy to trap Bellick. Later, she tells Bellick the money is hidden in some wacky-tobacky patch in Panguitch, UT. He’s pleased, and then asks for their real plan (gunning him down). Meanwhile, Lincoln says aloud that he doesn’t trust Nika. Michael counters that they’ve been through too much together. Outside, Bellick agrees to give her a third of the money ($1.6 million) for “saving his life”… if she sleeps with him. Just the prospect of it is giving me the heebie-jeebies. They kiss. BLARGH%$&^ *(JSGKSDJKG&^*(HDJGHJKLS*(&^&*DFH SDKJ Sorry, I just threw up. A lot. Dinner, lunch, and breakfast.

When we cut back to them, Nika’s giving Bellick a lap dance. Damn, Bellick is the closest he’s ever been to a real babe. She reaches over and… and… BAM — Bellick catches her trying to take his gun. He throws her back in the room with the brothers, but her real objective was his knife, not the gun, and Lincoln’s only to happy to press the cold steel blade against his neck. They tie up Bellick and they wait for Geary’s return, whereupon he tells Bellick that he “sucks.” Heh. Bellick starts shouting that Michael will only ruin Nika; look at what happened to Dr. Tancredi, who overdosed and was arrested for her assumed complicity in the escape. Michael is stunned into silence.

Dr. Sara Tancredi is attending Narcotics Anonymous. Agent “Lance” Kellerman tries to befriend her, and seems to be on his way. As they eat pie, Sara receives a phone call… from Michael. He realizes they’re probably listening in, but he apologizes and tells her, “It’s real, you and me.” He can protect her and she already has it in her possession (the swan?). She confusedly calls out Michael’s name, at which Kellerman’s ears immediately perk up. I have to say, Wentworth Miller did an excellent job in this scene — I could feel the pain and guilt in his voice and it hurt.

T-Bag’s trying to hitchhike, but the white crap at his stitches is distracting. Man, I hope that thing rots off. That’d be awesome. Some guy stops for him — he tries to help war veterans whenever he can and he was at the gas station when the whole thing went down. T-Bag’s very happy, because he has a fourteen-year-old daughter, Danny. At a motel pool, a horny T-Bag engages Danny in conversation, telling her she’s much more mature than her parents peg her for; she agrees like dumb teenagers do. He wraps an arm around her, but she’s horrified, calling for her father. The two men have a confrontation in their room. Danny’s waiting outside as her father picks up a hot iron menacingly. Oh yeah, burnt clothes are a major threat. T-Bag warns him not to try anything. OT: Show this footage to teenagers to teach them about perverts. Danny buys a soda as she sees her father’s car drive up to her. “Dad?” she calls out, as the vehicle rolls past her. T-Bag glares at her and then drives away.

Mahone is quickly on his way when he gets word that “he” is at the motel.

At the Lotus Motel, DJ has made another call while Tweener takes a shower and shows off his rockin’ bod. Only, it’s making me sick inside. It probably has something to do with his shaved head and body hair, which reminds me of alopecia (or more specifically, Stan Sitwell) and makes him look like a giant phallus, which… isn’t that great, unless I have a giant vagina. She nervously leaves as she tells him she’s going out for tequila and limes. Yum.

Abruzzi arrives in a limo at a motel Fibonacci is supposedly staying at. He takes out his gun and walks through the unlocked door, the sound of a shower running in the background. Obviously, Mahone is outside. Abruzzi doesn’t relinquish his gun and only kneels to God, so he’s riddled with bullets. I guess it’s okay, since Peter Stormare’s still representin’ Deutschland, selling Volkswagens at his other job.

Back at the Lotus, DJ and Tweener are drinking and talking. She admits she called her dad a few times about this guy she’s traveling with, that she maybe sort of likes. They also kiss. Ugh, both kissing pairs in this episode make my liver want to punch itself. OH! I GET IT! His giant, penis-shaped head is staying at the Lotus Motel, which is a metaphor for her poonaner.

Nika wants to go with Michael and Lincoln, but the former refuses, so she says goodbye by hugging them. She swipes the gun from Lincoln’s pants and points it at them, confessing her love for Michael (she had overheard his conversation with Sara), venting her frustration at being called on only for favors, and threatening to call the police for the reward (“legal money,” she says). Her face falls as Lincoln pulls the clip from his pocket. Michael sadly wishes her good luck as they drive away, leaving her standing by all her lonesome. At least she’s only a mile from town, and she has a nice ass.

At HQ, Mahone is mildly reprimanded for letting Abruzzi enter the room rather than intercepting him beforehand, which meant capturing him alive would’ve been impossible. Using the newspaper clippings Michael threw into the river (*irk*), Mahone figured he could use Abruzzi’s sore spot (Fibonacci) to trap him — and how! The tests on the car crash came back — pig’s blood. Mahone keeps flashing to Oscar Shales when he looks at Michael’s photo, suddenly tearing it down and crumpling it. Who the hell is Oscar Shales? And hey, where are Michael’s and Lincoln’s father?

If they’re all so close to Utah now, what’s going to happen in the second half of the season, I wonder?

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