Nevermind the Buttocks 2×19

(Ugh, basketball pre-emption. I didn’t like them when for some reason I liked soap operas, and I don’t like them now.)

This episode had elaborated on a lot of bus crash theories, and there was so much other stuff that connected to each other, I’m not even going to try to make sense from paragraph to paragraph. (This is something I’m not starting to enjoy. Sure the episodes are getting better, but they are so jam-packed the episodes in the middle of the season turn into a black hole. Like a cone of ignorance.) The MotW was not a completely different entity from the overall mysteries, that’s good! She had to figure out who ran over a schoolmate’s beloved dog. That’s bad.

The episode opened with Veronica being deposed by Mr. Lavoie, a member of Aaron’s defense team. Cliff is only there for a short moment, but this scene will set up 2×21, when Keith, Veronica, and Logan will have to appear in court for Aaron’s trial. Mr. Lavoie asks if she still keeps in touch with Duncan, who fled the country by kidnapping his own child. She doesn’t answer, but I don’t think she is — she herself said they could never keep in touch again — but if they are, whuh-oh. Hopefully not. (There was so much other stuff in the episode I practically forgot about this opening bit!)

The school is still doing random locker searches (since the Pilot), and the administration confiscates any suspicious materials. Mac asks Veronica for help in getting her cellphone interceptor back, but her copy of the key no longer works; paranoid Principal Clemmons changed the lock. (He is getting savvy to Veronica’s snoopy ways.) She asks Clemmons’ son, Butters (or Vincent, if you wanna get all formal about it) to help them out. He agrees… if he gets to go to prom as Mac’s date!!!!!!! (Still laughing about this.) As all three are in the office looking for the goods, Butters discusses what color she’s wearing so he can buy the appropriate corsage (trying… not to… explode… from… laughter…), Mac is utterly confused; it seems Veronica forgot to divulge this new development to Mac. (Well, she can’t be surprised. They did lie and say she was crushin’ on him.) They find the interceptor and the Anarchist Cookbook, and V recognizes the locker number.

She confronts Weevil and wonders if he took a recipe from the book to make a delicious bomb for the limo, not the bus — after all, back then he still thought Logan killed his bestest buddy and he was supposed to be on the field trip, but was waylaid by Kendall. Weevil (maybe with some help from Cervando, who went on the trip) could’ve stuck the stinky rat on the bus to force the rich kids to hire a limo, but didn’t anticipate Dick leaving his bomb-filled gift bag with Betina on the bus rather than bringing it with him onto the limo. She also inquires about Thumper’s whereabouts, noting he’ll miss prom. Weevil’s sure he’s “crushed.”

Harry, who lost his dog, remembers a green Plymouth Barracuda. There are no registered green ‘cudas in Neptune, so Veronica takes out an ad asking if anyone seen it, and Gia comes forward: some guy was mooning her from this car minutes before the bus went over last year. The only reason she remembers is because it was the same moment her father called to ask about her location so she could pick up her little brother from his piano lesson. Red herring: Woody figured out Gia’s location and detonated the bomb a few minutes later.

Keith’s been digging into Kendall’s past after discovering the beneficiary of the life insurance policies on the Casablancas boys, should both of them die, is, yup, Kendall. (Big Dick was using it as a tax shelter for his schemes… I hope Brian Porter comes back! Yes, that’s the guy on Lost, but the actor was also here as Big Dick… but I can’t stop seeing Brian Porter.) Keith looks at her phone records and three calls were made to Logan during the day of the crash. Veronica tells Keith they were secretly sleeping with each other, so he asks his daughter for a favor and she begrudgingly asks Logan how long he was with Kendall. (LMGDMFAO) Apparently, just enough time to kick him out of bed and crash the bus.

Super P.I. Keith also finds a yearbook and several mug shots: Kendall Lacey Shiflit, a poofy-haired blonde girl, died when she was fifteen in a car accident of which Priscilla Banks was the driver. Who is Priscilla Banks? MRS. KENDALL CASABLANCAS. Kendall/Priscilla went to jail for fraud and hasn’t contacted her family in a long time, save for a get-well-soon card for her sick mother, who died recently (according to a family member Keith called up). Questions: did Prissy kill the real Kendall? Was Prissy trying to make money for her ma, which is nice, but yeah… pi-yure ee-vill.

Wallace is still pining after Jackie the whole ep, who doesn’t want to rekindle a romance because she’s been accepted into the Sorbonne and will leave the day after school ends. She also got a job at the Hut (the same place Veronica works at) after her father’s assets were frozen. She has some mean waitressin’ skillz for a ballet dancer, Veronica notes, and this obviously means she was really a waitress from somewhere else. Jackie finally caves at the end of the episode and agrees to go to prom with him. I know Wallace is a guy, but damn. It’s very loser-ish to me.

Veronica traces the green ‘cuda to a little old lady… who’s blind. She says it belonged to her late husband, but V secretly checks out the car anyway. There’s an imprint on the glass I’m not too sure what it is — it looks like a face (or that sticker Gia was talking about… which would link this car to one she saw on the day of the crash! Oh!!…). She bugs the inside and checks out the glove compartment which contains a gun. When she’s tailing the Barracuda, it stops at a house, of which someone runs out of, saying someone’s inside. The driver grabs the gun and heads in, while Veronica calls her father for help. She relays her location and he strangely tells her to drive to the front of the house with the engine running.

Expectedly, Keith is inside the house and Liam shows his face, amused that Keith Mars is the one breaking and entering. Liam shoots repeatedly, but no bullets emerge, so Keith takes the opportunity to lunge at him. The mysterious figure that ran out of the house walks up to Veronica’s car… it’s Prissy! They’re distracted, though, when Keith and Liam crash through a window and land on the lawn. Keith quickly runs into Veronica’s transport and they drive away. In the worst moment of the episode, and possibly in the history of fakeouts, Veronica tells her father that if he didn’t hang up so quickly, she would’ve told him that she removed the bullets. Uhhhhhhh… WHAT?! Then why the hell did she say she was afraid someone was going to get shot? This is how I see it happening (aka a very complicated fanwank): Veronica knows she will be following the car, so just in case the person would use the gun against her, she took out the bullets. Then, either realizing her dad moves at the speed of light or was already in the house, decided to ask him for help in a very scared tone. But, she was going to say, “PSYCH! I’m just kidding, I took out the bullets, so I was totally exaggerating and utterly wasting time by repeating ‘Dad? Dad? Dad?’ before the commercial break.” Keith did manage to snag Kendall Casablancas’s hard drive from her SECRET HOUSE!

Hector asks Weevil for help: after Thumper’s untimely disappearance, the Fitzies have been using the PCHers as their slaves. Oh, to go from a high school gang committing misdemeanors to an Irish mob’s bitch — how far the mighty have fallen. Weevil softens up after hearing of freshman Arturo’s plight, so he goes to Veronica for help in getting into Clemmons’ office to retrieve Thumper’s paddle with plate numbers. She gives him the key after he explains he was following Cervando around because he was “book smart, but street dumb” — he wouldn’t quit bragging about hustling Liam Fitzpatrick, rumored to be out looking for him. Veronica says he can keep it, and is startled at her generosity until she reveals Clemmons changed his lock. However, remember she made a photocopy of the paddle just for this storyline!

The PCHers and the Fitzpatricks meet late at night , and I half-expected them to break into song and dance — “Jets! Sharks!” I guess Hector is the powerless leader (or they just didn’t want to spend time looking for another PCHer speaking role and decided to bring him back… again and again and again) and hands over the money (what happened to the convoluted confessional trick?) to Liam, who thinks the cash is a bit light. They decide to beat up one of the runts, who appears to have already been beat up the last time they met, and they won’t stop until a baseball cap is filled with cash. The PCHers pathetically start filling the cap with old Jacksons (before dey head got all big) until Weevil comes to save the day! He’s got the license plates of all the wealthy junkies, and guess they won’t do any more business with the Fitzpatricks once this bit of info comes to light (he likens it to Heidi Fleiss’s little book). If anything happens to Weevil, the list (of which he’s got copies of) will be released. The Fitzpatricks back off and the PCHers cheers Weevil, but he tells them they’re on their own and drives away. Well, at least they’re not dealing drugs anymore.

Keith finally manages to find a reason Kendall to be connected to the Fitzpatricks: back when she was Priscilla, she was running a long con with a Cormac Fitzpatrick, Liam’s older brother, who’s currently in in San Quentin. (Is it also Molly’s father?) She took the fall for him because it would’ve been his third strike (and you’re out!), which is why she went to prison. If anything, the Fitzpatricks owed her big time. But would they really rig a bus for her? Would they still cavort for all this time? Why are they cavorting now? Is it all so black and white? Kendall wanted money so she tried to kill Dick and Beaver. I think it’s a tricky gray area. I still think it was a combination of unrelated circumstances by different people that led to the crash, which was not their original intentions.

On the news, the newscaster reports that the murder weapon in the Lilly Kane case had been found. Keith assumed the weapon was the glass ashtray, which had been thrown into the pool. Instead, they report that Aaron’s Oscar was used to bludgeon her. It was found buried in the Kane’s backyard, and it contained Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s shower hair. Oh. Crap. Questions: How did he (or Kendall) get her DNA? Was Cliff’s briefcase stolen for the keys to the storage facility to retrieve his Oscar? Is the Oscar statuette big enough to kill someone with one blow? (Although we’re not sure that happened, considering all the murdering stuff we saw last year was all in Veronica’s head.)

Back to Harry’s dog: she goes to his house to tell him it’s Liam Fitzpatrick, but encounters a motorcycle in the yard and his beat-up younger brother first. She deduces that he’s a PCHer (there are white PCHers?), and that he knew all along it was Liam, who was threatening him for payment. He begs her not tell Harry the truth, because he will kill Liam with his bow and arrow (and he’s really good at it, from what we saw earlier) and he will be in big doo-doo. Veronica wrestles with siccing Harry on Liam, who almost killed her father, or keeping Harry out of trouble. When the pooch’s owner asks if she found the culprit, the episode ends with a simple, yet hesitant, “no.”

It isn’t creepy and weird and laughable that Aaron has an Oscar… but that it’s been established he has at least three.

Also, these caption people really suck with names. For Enbom, I’ve seen M-bomb and N-bone. In this episode, Declan was named Gecklan. WTF? Don’t these people know the names a lot of Irish people use?????

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