Ahoy, Mateys! 2×08

Duncan is dreaming about a blonde — two blondes actually: Meg in white talking about the good times they had and Veronica in black explaning her advantage of being conscious. Interesting to me, that Duncan definitely seems able to differentiate (at least subconsciously) between the two, whereas before he was like, “Hey, Meg’s a lot like Veronica, I’ll date her.” Duncan wakes up after dream Veronica slaps him, and he fingers the letter he stole last episode (which looks a different size). He can hear Logan and Veronica talking outside his room, but he ignores them, focusing on putting the envelope away (from Chris in Washington).

Outside LV discuss the recent developments in figuring out just who is trying to frame Logan. They find out the plastic surgeon, Dr. Griffith, had a disciplinary action for an inappropriate offsite practice with patient Danny Boyd. They drive up to a crummy house to question Danny about the circumstances and Veronica decides on going alone, since apparently Logan lacks subtlety. After introducing herself as Laurie and lying about checking out the doctor because of her desire for plastic surgery and research, she is inadvertently led into River Stix (the caption said Styx), the place to be for the Fightin’ Fitzpatricks (Neptune’s first family of crime). A young woman who happened to attend her school reveals her true identity and after some really fake body-double work (I wince — it’s so obvious; at least in 1×22 I couldn’t tell until after about the fifth time), including getting knocked over by some boxes and being thrown onto a pool table, Veronica is out a taser and she’s held captive, asked to tell the truth or recieve a tattoo on her face.

Here we come to save the day! Well, just one person: Logan pops in unsubtly and announces he’s called 911. They ignore him until he pulls out a gun, and they finally back off. Veronica gets the fuck outta there and Logan follows. He drives her back to Mars Investigations and she breaks down and cries. Someone had written an excellent essay last season on how their lives are parallel and it’s nice to see they continue with this theme (he broke down and cried in front of her 15 episodes earlier). Logan tries to comfort her, but she yells at him for carrying around a gun and how he could get himself killed (soo not indifferent, V). Turns out Big Dick gave it to him… so that’s what that weird firing range scene in 2×02 was for.

Keith asks her to do a little digging on Marcos Oliveres, a victim of the bus crash. His parents approach Keith for help in acquiring evidence on who’s leaving reminders of their dead son around (such as Marcos’ voice recordings and toy buses). They think it’s someone from the school district trying to scare them to drop their suit against them for negligence. Veronica asks around and can’t find a thing on Marcos, except someone who mentions quickly that he goofed off with the equipment and kept to himself. Later, she receives an e-mail calling Marcos great, but shy. The person remains anonymous to thwart their jealous boyfriend, though I’m unclear on the logic because WE CAN SEE YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS. She asks local tech expert Mac about an mp3 of Marcos’s voice, but Mac realizes it’s Cap’n Krunk of “Ahoy Matey’s,” a cult pirate radio show. He and his partner, Imitation Crab, basically lambast anyone who piss them off (read: everyone except them). With Mac’s help they discover the source of the radio signal — Vice Principal Clemmons’ house. (LOL) After a funny scene convincing Clemmons that Mac has a crush on Butters, er, Vincent, he lets them in. They bust Vincent whilst doing his radio show (so old school! I thought it would be podcasts, especially in a county that loves Kane Software). When Veronica asks about a four-week hiatus they had, Butters (God these nicknames really stick) explains Marcos went to summer camp, but then came back all weird and quit the show.

Meanwhile, Weevil questions his authority over the PCHers when he’s accosted for drugs by an 09er, and he don’t swing that way. Veronica is infuriated, thinking Weevil lied to her about the PCH Bike Club’s involvement with the Fighting Fitzpatricks. She explains the eyewitness who came forward is under the thumb of the Irish mob, but Weevil denies working with the Micks (his wording). He calls for a powwow, but no one speaks up. He calls the Fitzpatricks some more names and dismisses his boys. Weevil asks Thumper what really happened on the bridge and he tells his version of the events, thanks to flashbacks: Logan kicks Weevil out cold (and we’re still not clear on what he originally intended to do once he got there) and the rest of the guys beat up Logan. Felix then takes charge and tells Thumper and the others to take Weevil away and find Cervando. As Felix fishes out Logan’s car keys, Logan stabs him. A honking truck (so the real witness is presumably a truck driver, so he could be like across the country… or down the continent) is getting closer and Hector and Bootsy (hah these biker nicknames are funny), who haven’t left yet, ride off without seeing what the witness looked liked. See heah, the problem is that Thumper told police he saw everything, but apparently he’s already gone before Felix starts feeling up Logan. Weevil vows to get to the bottom of this.

Keith stakes out the Oliveres house to hopefully catch the intruder. After a false alarm (the neighbor just wanted a beer!), he finds a toy bus in the aquarium and a crinkled piece of paper with the house’s security code on one side and the letterhead of Simon & Stern, the law firm representing the district, on the other. He thinks he’s found the proof and agrees to testify in court. However, on the day of testifying, he tells Mr. Oliveres he can’t because he found it fishy (groan) someone seemed to had fed the fish as well. Mr. Oliveres so badly wanted it to be the school that he planted the last one, but who did it all those other times?

Veronica finds out about the camp Marcos went to, Camp Selfquest, a program to take the gay out of the kids. She confronts Butters about it, who insists Marcos was a booty hound and almost got his ass kicked by a girl’s jealous boyfriend. Veronica remembers the anonymous e-mail and decides to lure the sender into the open (basically she sent spam). When the person calls her number all she has to do is check the ID and trace the number — leading her to a guy with a really bad bowl cut, Ryan, also the only guy who spoke up about Marcos in class. He says he was in love, but Marcos was sexually on the fence (yah that sounds painful). When his parents found out, they sent him to Camp Selfquest (But I’m a Cheerleader anyone?) and in an effort to please them did “normal” things (see you can’t ever be normal Veronica, no matter how much you want to be, you’ll just die really early) — such as going on a trip to a ball field by school bus. He blames the parents and that’s why he’s been harassing them. Oh.

Logan finds himself parked in and then punched out. He wakes up bounded and facing a bunch of masked men playing Russian roulette with his appendages to find out what happened to Felix. In a really nice bit of acting, Logan swears he doesn’t remember a thing (except last episode you said you remembered him; oh what are you saying… I guess he wants to keep up the charade of not remembering and telling the secret only to Veronica). One of them gives someone a ring and whoever’s on the other side hears the whole thing. The guys drive a seemingly unconscious Logan to a ditch and is unceremoniously dropped in, but not before pocketing the cell phone (wow these people are pilfering all the time) from the masked man’s pocket. At the bottom of the ditch, Logan presses redial and dun-dun-dun! Well it’s not really a surprise that it’s Weevil, is it? Logan all but says it’s war and hangs up.

Oh right, Duncan’s been ignoring Veronica all episode (which he did exactly when he broke up with Veronica the first time, except he never said “I’m breaking up with you”), and he finally picks one of them to dream about. Meg says only he can save her, he’s the only one who can and all he has to do is want to. He wakes up and races to read that really tiny letter. “Oh my God,” he says. The end.

So things are picking up on the who killed Felix and what the hell is going with Meg front. And it seems the MotW’s are linked to the overall bus crash mystery, which makes everything run tighter, rather than trying to solve who killed Lilly while infiltrating a cult or finding a pregnant woman. Alyson Hannigan returns next week as Trina Echolls, Logan’s half-sister, along with Charisma Carpenter. If the spoiler I read is true… holy crap. (That Trina’s mom, whom we’ve never seen, is also __________ mother. That’d be weird and very soap opera-ish, though, so I’m half hoping it won’t go that route. I mean, look at Shawn-D, Belle, and Phillip on Days of our Lives. They’re all related to each other in like three different ways… and they’re a love triangle. Although I suppose there are plenty of soap tactics VM have used, but is so well-executed we don’t really think about it as a soap opera device.)

Really random thoughts I couldn’t (or didn’t) want to fit: (1) I’m not sure how I’d feel a pirate on a yearbook cover, argh shiver me timbers; (2) Other people who’ve e-mailed Veronica: Keith Mars and kt echolls (Trina? Haha that’d rich); (3) Could Chris (I typed Christ at first) be a girl? What kind of guy writes tiny index card-sized letters in such girly handwriting and a warning on the envelope about privacy? Do guys write letters?? After all they did think the abused child was a boy, until V saw the handwriting was too neat and girly; (4) I think the worst of the worst network interference in terms of voiceovers occurred this episode: Veronica reads aloud Camp Selfquest’s website promoting a traditional redirection for teens struggling with their sexuality, and I immediately thought, oh Marcos was gay? Half a second later the VO says, “Marcos was gay?” THANKS A LOT UPN, I FEEL SO VINDICATED BY MY BELIEFS; (5) Vice Principal Clemmons looked sorta irked when he was reminded of being a “powerless factotum”… uh-oh, school administration showdown?? I never did understand why we needed two principals, and a vice one at that.

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