Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner 2×07

I’m not too crazy about the title. So not as much bus mystery-solving, but some more overall plot and character development. And definitely no Patrick Swayze.

Logan is still seeing Kendall Casablancas, Dick and Beaver’s stepmother, which is somewhat of a problem considering he now lives with Duncan at the Neptune Grand. Logan comes “home” to find himself the third wheel to Duncan and Veronica, but his “room service” (Kendall) soon arrives and he’s being serviced in his bedroom. By the way, his code word (as per Third Wheel: A Beginner’s Guide) is “endurance.”

Woody Goodman continues to try to persuade Keith to his side. Seeing as his funding couldn’t get Keith reinstated as sheriff, he has plans to turn Neptune county into a full-fledged city — a city that also needs a chief of police. Keith doesn’t think he could afford to live in the city he’s supposed to serve and protect, but Woody promises to make it worth his while. Why is he so adamant on having Keith as a government underling? Tell me, Steve Guttenberg!!

At school, Veronica notices an OUT OF ORDER bathroom sign. Uh-oh, is she getting some competition from other investigators? Nope, just Logan waiting who knows how long near the feminine hygiene machine. After bringing up their special memory together in the girls’ lavatory with her “legs around [his] waist” (good times), he asks for her help once more. 1) Why didn’t he knock on her apartment door? I miss that! Although Keith telling him never to come back might’ve had something to do with it; 2) He lives with her boyfriend, yet he couldn’t ask when she came over? Logan wants to know why someone’s out to get him for Felix’s murder. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were indifferent to me? he asks. Well, she ain’t.

When she exits she takes down the sign and spots Duncan, who notices Logan comes out through the same door Veronica emerged from. Ruh-roh? Actually Duncan doesn’t really care, he has to provide her with the Mystery of the Week. He checked the files they downloaded from Meg Manning’s (Duncan’s ex) laptop earlier this season, files her parents would pull the plug on her for (she was the sole though vegetative survivor of the bus crash). They indicated correspondance with a child protections service agent because she knew one of the boys she was babysitting for was being mentally tormented. “We have to find him.” Whatever you say, Donut.

With Big Dick out of the country for real estate fraud, all his accounts are frozen, but Dick, Jr. and Beaver still have their trust funds. All of Kendall’s assets are tied with Big Dick’s, so she has nothing to her name. The Casablancas’ boys’ mother comes down to unlock their trust funds and Dick (whose shirt says “Going Commando”) buys a French maid outfit for Kendall so she could work for them (I think I popped a vessel trying to hold in my laugh). Kendall decides to earn money the only way she knows how… so she asks Logan to be her sugar daddy even though he’s in high school (and she never says “sugar daddy” per se) in a “breakup” scene too hilarious not to transcribe.

Kendall: That was perfect… baby. Oh. It feels so good to be with you. I just wanna be with you all the time.
Logan: Uh, bit of advice: when looking for a sugar daddy at least pick the richest guy in the hotel suite.
Kendall: …
Logan: I’m sorry. Did that hurt your feeling?
Kendall: I can’t believe you said that to me. Doesn’t this mean anything to you?
Logan: It does. It means I’m getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
Kendall: You know, you can joke all you want. I know we have a connection, Logan. It may have started out as sexual, but over the past few months it’s grown into something more.
Logan: Wow. So your feelings have grown as your available balance has shrunk. It’s like science. One of the problems of sleeping with your stepson’s friend: information tends to leak.
Kendall: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you have a pretty good situation for youself here. You want to go back to playing grab ass with cheerleaders that have just mastered missionary? See ya. You want things to keep going the way they’ve been going, I’m going to need a few things.
Logan: I’m sorry, see ya was Option A? Bessie, when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it.
Kendall: Then what am I supposed to do?
Logan: “Frankly, my dear” — you know the rest.
Moochie, moochie!

Leaving his room, Kendall notices Duncan’s open bedroom door and the sounds of the shower running and she slips inside… and slips out of her clothes. O___O Later as Logan vegs on the couch he sees Kendall exiting Duncan’s room. He asks if she shouldn’t be working, something he keeps mentioning (like when regarding his sister, Trina) even though the most work he’s probably ever done is getting beat up by the PCH Bikers. Kendall says this is her job.

Meanwhile Veronica calls up all the families she thinks may be the parents of the abused child. She plans on babysitting the children and stealing a sample of the kid’s handwriting to compare it to a notebook of admonishments written by the child Meg managed to purloin as proof of the abuse. The Fullers’ son is a robotic, eerie perfection, who during coloring time draws for her a picture of a decapitated blonde. Uhm, what? A contrivance to end for commercial break, much? Or something that will have significance later in the season? Hopefully the latter. (Although I guess that was good for showing he’s not a robot.) Mrs. Fuller, who warns her no boys over, mentions she didn’t like it when Meg’s boyfriend came over when she babysat and Veronica, thinking it was Duncan, relays this to him over the phone, whereupon the audience sees Duncan give a confused look (Meg’s not as nice as we all thought?), although it might’ve been bad acting (Veronica did say he’s here for his looks). But someone interrupts this conversation: Logan’s popped by for the information Veronica found on the mysterious witness (she hisses, “I said 10:30!”), Dr. Tom Griffith, plastic surgeon. Logan upon seeing his picture says that that wasn’t the man at the bridge and reveals he lied about not remembering that night to drop the case as quickly as possible. The Fullers arrive home early and she shoos him away. She must go to their hotel room at least once a day. Why meet him away from Duncan? And how much foreshadowing are they providing (consider also last week’s mis-hugging and the earlier emergence from the bathroom) that she will get back with Logan?

Next is Mrs. Hauser, embittered divorcée who happens to be the Health teacher (Chlamydia is not a flower! But what the hell are they confusing chlamydia with??). She rejects Veronica’s offer, but when our teen sleuth mocks up an invite to the Sheriff Department’s Fundraiser/Bachelor Auction with a shirtless Sheriff Lamb (the real one has a uniformed Lamb), and just “happens” to bump into Veronica, she accepts her services. Mrs. Hauser brings her son over to her home, who immediately starts screaming bloody murder (ice cream) when his mother leaves. When she picks him up, she is extremely happy — she’s managed to snag a guy, especially with a name like Sachs. First, LOL. Second, wow I’d think the Village People cop wouldn’t be that popular, although I guess that mustache does make him look like a porn star. (:D at V’s look of pseudo-horror as she realizes who she’s singing about.)

Finally, Veronica manages to organize a sleepover at Gia Goodman’s house so she could snoop around. We see the mom is an anal-retentive freak and Gia has a surprise — she’s invited the other vacuous girls of Neptune High. Gia’s little brother seems extra shy and when he makes a little mess Woody lightly scolds him about mom’s rules. In a very strange scene, Veronica witnesses Mrs. Goodman leading her son to another room as County Supervisor Goodman looks powerless… or totally fed up. I think this went on too long and was way too weird for it not to come up again later this year. Veronica’s patience wears thin when Madison lauds Pretty Woman as her favorite movie and Vivian her heroine. When Veronica points out she’s a hooker, Madison, the bitch we all love to hate (seriously I enjoy every character on the show, even the “evil” ones… except Jackie… and Troy), suggests a tattoo on Veronica’s chest so at least there’d be something to look at. Veronica oh-so-subtly mentions Dick, Madison’s ex, and his interest in Gia and I suspect there will be a catfight in the future (really). As if on cue Dick and Beaver crash the slumber party drunker than Willie riding his tractor and Veronica’s outta there.

Somehow, she manages to squeeze in time to meet Dr. Griffith for a “consultation.” He quickly dismisses her saying she doesn’t need the work done and that he has a surgery, but Veronica sees him get into his car immediately afterward. She follows him to a cigar shop and sees him leave with a paper bag. Later, when Keith smells cigar smoke on her clothes (after she lied she only went in to use their bathroom), he tells her not to go back as he had tried to bust that place for drugs several times when he was sheriff. So what do drugs have to do with a PCHer’s death and falsely accusing a rich boy of the crime?

On their way to break into Meg’s house to find the notebook and compare the handwriting with, Logan asks Duncan if Kendall wasn’t a problem, who says it was nothing. Veronica’s spidey sense tingling? In a throwback to season one, Duncan guesses the notebook is hidden in the air vent of Meg’s room. As Veronica checks the writing samples, Duncan also notices a sealed envelope and surreptitiously pockets it. None of the samples match, and now we all know: Meg was keeping the identity of her little sister private. VD finds stacks upon stacks of the very same notebooks in little Grace’s bedroom closet. A scratching sound — a rat? That’s last episode. Veronica pulls away the back closet panel to reveal Grace sitting in a dark little room.

Unfortunately the Mannings return early from their church group and the father threatens them with a baseball bat (does he play a lot of baseball, because I can’t imagine Meg the cheerleader or Lizzie the dater now Catholic schoolgirl play that much, and obviously Grace is too busy locked in the closet). Sheriff Lamb arrives, and Veronica tries to tell him they’re abusing their daughter while Mr. Manning yells at her to keep her whore mouth shut (ouch). He begins to handcuff them as she quietly tells him of the hidden room behind the closet, but he continues to cuff them, bringing them to his car and returns to the house for, what we assume, a statement. Instead, he opens the closet and removing the back paneling, sees for himself what Veronica was talking about. Mr. Manning angrily says, “What are you doing? I’m the victim here. You have no right to come into my house and start poking around.” Lamb: “That’s funny, I heard my father give that exact speech once.” He drives VD around the corner and lets them free. Confused, VD watch him drive away. When Mr. Manning looks out his window he sees a squad car outside. (All played out beautifully with Air’s Run in the background.)

And with just one enigmatic line is Lamb still the paper cutout of an antagonist? Though I think we can surmise what it implies, it’s too open ended, but I do love when we get glimpses into a character that turns them three-dimensional. (Though I still think he’s corrupt. Love to hate ya.) Another complex character full of contradictions added to the regular cast? WHY THE HELL NOT?? (Yeah, money problems, so?? What about meeee??) Very, very bizarre ending. Is he staking out the Manning house, or does Lamb live next door, so when seeing the car Mr. Manning realized they didn’t go down to the station? Mr. Manning did ask his wife to “call the sheriff” — is that just the lingo they use in places without a police department, or did he literally want the sheriff since he was only yards away? I need to KNOW.

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