Joss Whedon once called this “the funniest and most romantic show on TV.” I have no idea how they manage film noir and teen drama with laughs rivaling some sitcoms today, but they do. I haven’t laughed this much since watching the full hour of Arrested Development they aired this past Monday. Secretly I like one of the earlier titles for this episode, Raw Saw Dog (if it was even for real), because backwards it’s God was War, which is kinda cool if they somehow worked all that in. Anyway, voting, Logan’s arrest, and Abel seeing God…
The Mars camp watch the election results on TV (nice real-life continuity here) — Woody Goodman wins county supervisor, historically known as “the mayor of Neptune,” a sufficient coverup by the writers here for incorrectly calling the office “mayor” in episode 2×01 and during the summer. Unsurprisingly, Lamb wins sheriff. Cliff (how much do I love the fact that Cliff is there?) comforts Keith with the fact that 49% of Neptune still likes him. Meanwhile, as Lamb is celebrating, someone turns himself in as the eyewitness who called in on the Coronado Bridge when Logan supposedly stabbed Felix. We all thought it was fishy when the “witness” in 2×01 ran away before the police arrived, but now this witness doesn’t even look like the one in that episode! I doubt it’s sloppy recasting; when a bit character from ten episodes ago reappears, it’s played by the exact same actor. If he really was unavailable I’m sure they could’ve at least hired someone who looks somewhat similar. Something’s definitely up, because I’m positive Logan didn’t stab anyone.
At a party held that same night, Dick forgives Logan for sleeping with his stepmom — “better you than the cable guy.” I expected this reaction from Dick, he’s a total dick. Now I wonder what Beaver will say (I can’t call him Cassidy, it’s just not as funny). Obviously he’s the more sensitive brother, guess that’s why he’s Beaver. Veronica arrives just in time to see Logan re-arrested for the murder of Felix Toombs. After Deputy Sacks leads him out, Dick decides to break the tension with, “Douche chill!” Seriously, if all those Simpsons and Arrested Development shoutouts were on purpose, however indirectly referred, I love this show even more for it. Afterward, Veronica arrives at Mars Investigations to find Abel Koontz, former patsy for Lilly Kane’s murder, now dying wino. He begs her to find his daughter, Amelia DeLongpre, the recipient of a $3 million “settlement” from Kane Software (the reason Abel took the fall for the crime). He says he missed her 21st birthday and won’t live to see her 22nd. Veronica agrees. Because she’s a marshmallow.
Logan is picked out of a lineup (which is really easy considering he’s the son of a movie star turned killer and was part of the whole stabbing thing over the summer) — “you like me, you really like me!” he says before launching into a whole spiel about thanking various people. He insists on a public defender and gets one — Cliff McCormack! Lol. Veronica calls Cliff’s cell and interrupts this meeting of the minds asking for help: she’s just discovered that Amelia had been trotting all over Europe and the last place her boyfriend saw her in was Ibiza with a bunch of phone cards. Cliff calls up World Telecom feigning a distressed father to get the call records, which Logan watches very interestedly. (I think Logan kinda figured it out when Cliff asked early on in the phone conversation, “I owe you?”) Before leaving, Cliff asks him to do the smart thing and hire a “real lawyer. Or three.”
Without bail, Logan lands in a jail cell… with his father. Aaron (Harry Hamlin) maintains his innocence and blames Duncan for Lilly’s murder. Ho-hum, Aaron, we’ve all toyed with this theory nine months ago! But intriguing nonetheless. Why single out Duncan? Though I suppose the Kanes had to go on trial, at least on the stand and admit why they went to great lengths to put the blame on Abel Koontz (because they thought their son Duncan did it in one of his fits). Logan doesn’t believe him — he is an actor after all — and I think I don’t believe him either. Aaron asks his son that, even so, he not throw away his life with the poor little rich boy act, to let him help with some guys down at the firm (some L.A. law?). Cliff arrives in the nick of time and announces Logan (“Chip”) made bail, thanks to shvitzing (less than three you, Cliff!) at the same gym as Judge Bloom, while repeating Aaron’s sentiment. “Well, you’re kind of winning me over.”
When the PCH bike club (Felix’s crew) find out, they are like, soooo pissed at Logan Echolls for being rich and white, thus escaping jail within “two minutes.” Not wanting to be known as the “Panty Club for Homos” (interesting as a homosexual relationship is supposed to be revealed in the future, if my source is correct; maybe it involves a PCHer?), they decide to do something they should’ve done months ago. As Lamb drives Logan home, we all see that “the roof! The roof! The roof is on fiah!” Along with the rest of the house, too. Nice way of getting rid of the two main 09er (wealthy) houses from last season — the Kane house by moving the parents to Napa and Duncan as an emancipated minor in his own hotel room. Guess those houses were bought and/or no longer available to shoot in?
Veronica confronts Clarence Wiedman (who bribed Amelia with $3 mil to disappear), head of Kane security, in a very “we meet again, Mr. Weed” kind of way after discovering a call made in Neptune last week across the street from Kane Software. Clarence denies any knowledge of knowing she was back in town. Meeting a dead end, she tries another route: she remembers Amelia’s roommate talking about a Greek Booze Cruise, even though she was only twenty. After another talk, V finds out she used Margot Schnell’s, her cousin’s, ID. She pulls up records under that name, which shows a car rental last week. At Lariat Rental, Veronica manages to figure out the make and color of the car with some Joss Whedon help (starring not as himself). With Wallace in Chicago, V quickly adopts a different personality and somewhat different outfit to retrieve a lost laptop from the still-out white LeSabre. Now with Kim, winner of America’s Next Top Model’s acting challenge (which was a stupid one, BTW), behind the desk, Veronica extracts some info on where the car was two days ago — Waverly, CA. (Can I just say that Kim was better in her role than Naima was as Ms. Dum(b)ass? The latter seemed to affect a weird, obviously fake accent, which, depending, is hard to do while acting. Now I’m actually rooting for someone to win ANTM… Kim. She’s definitely come a long way, but I bet she won’t win because fortune frowns upon me.)
At the motel in Waverly, Veronica shells out thirty dollars for the room Amelia stayed in, which, I have to say, is pretty good for $30 a night. It even has an electronic lock! Keith calls to check up on his daughter, who lies and says she’s at an art gallery downtown. “Show me,” he says, and then when she comes home they can talk about the dead guy on the beach with “Veronica Mars” written on his hand (Keith found out when he went to follow up on the bus recovery). Maybe he just wanted to remember to watch the show! Veronica explains that the dead guy, Curly, was the stuntman who made a truck crash in Aaron’s first big hit. Then she goes about taking a picture of herself at an “art gallery” by sticking all the Thomas Kinkade knockoffs in the room onto one wall. When uploading it into her laptop to e-mail it, she discovers Amelia’s Palm’s Bluetooth signal nearby. Why doesn’t V just take a picture and send it with her Sidekick? Do they not have Bluetooth detection capabilities, I thought they were supposed to be the bomb??? Obviously I am very plebe. So Veronica goes about finding the source of the signal in a very amusing montage of paying another $60 to check out the rooms next to hers. Stumped at the lack of anything else, she notices the ice machine sounds kinda funky. All right, let’s say this all at once: “OHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THERE SHE IS!!!!” I Know What You Did Last Summer! When she returns to her room to call 911, Clarence appears behind her: “I thought I told you to mind your own business.” Clarence seems to be tied up with ice imagery a bit: in the pilot Jake Kane walks by the ice machine (Jake had asked Clarence to cover-up the murder), and in Kanes and Abel’s Veronica imagines Clarence holding a bag of ice when Jake summons him.
Clarence admits he was lying when she visited the other day; the call across the street was to confirm pickup of an additional quarter million blackmailed dollars from Kane Software. Now with a big menacing black man, Veronica doesn’t need to pay $30 anymore! The motel clerk mentions that she was with a guy whose description sounds like that of Amelia’s boyfriend. At his dorm room, Clarence interrogates him by uh, basically hanging him out of his window. Clarence deduces that no one’s that good a liar and they’re stuck.
Weevil (PCH leader) gets all up in Logan’s grill about an eviction notice, presumably as revenge for setting his house on fire. I’m thinking, did the PCHers really burn it down? The anonymous phone call outing Curly as the bus saboteur came from a number registered in the Echolls name during a party at which everybody was invited to or crashed. Maybe there was still some evidence to get rid of? Maybe the plan fit together all very nicely… because the tipster is a PCHer? Weevil may not be as in charge as he thinks, as Veronica stated. So Logan (who’s sporting some “ankle bling” by the way) and Weevil start another fight, only to be broken up by I suppose the official fight-breaker (he’s there every time a fight needs breaking up). Weevil is piiiiiiiiiiiissed.
Online, a girl approaches Veronica, explaining she recognizes Amelia from a post V made earlier in an Ibiza forum. Veronica calls up Clarence and tells him the killer is Carlos Mercado, an Argentinean diplomat’s son. Clarence says some of the marked bills had showed up in Vegas and plans to go there. Prompted by Veronica’s question of what he plans to do, he answers, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Basically, money changes people. That’s what Amelia’s roommate said about half an hour earlier. Veronica visits Abel in the hospital, who has “a day or two, if he’s lucky.” In one of her most well-intentioned lies, Veronica tells him Amelia is stuck in the Himalayas and waiting for a helicopter to airlift her from the early snow. Alone, he reaches for her hand and she sits beside him on his deathbed.
Understandably shaken, she visits her boyfriend in his hotel room. Seeing him laid out on the sofa with a magazine covering his face, she crawls up to him to lay in his arms. I knew when the scene started it wasn’t Duncan, because he has these funny stubby arms, and it was the same shirt he was wearing at the party, and what kind of rich white boy wears the same article of clothing days apart? Also, it was kinda funny thinking of guys swapping clothing, because I barely remember that being portrayed, ever. When the non-stubby arms reach around her, she realizes her mistake. And when he starts talking she’s definitely made a huge mistake — it’s Logan. ROFL. So now two rich emancipated white boys are sharing a hotel room. Somebody write a theme song!
Keith unofficially visits Aaron to discuss a little matter known as the school bus crash. Aaron laughs, thinking Keith believes he was behind the crash. But Keith was really talking about Veronica’s safety and shows how easy it was to “get to” him. So he better not do anything or Keith will unleash a can of whupass. With Lamb not very forthcoming on the details of what happened to the bus, Keith sneaks into the warehouse to see for himself. And he sees something very peculiar inside — a dead rat taped underneath a seat. (?????)
I honestly don’t want to write so much, HOW CAN THEY MANAGE TO PACK EVERY EPISODE WITH SO MUCH STUFF?!?!